she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
