its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
