Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
