maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
