I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
