I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
