wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
