I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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