She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
