this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
