her vagine was all disorganized.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
