so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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