none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
