This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
