We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
