Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
