belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
