So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You dont lie about slip and slides
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
