okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
