I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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