C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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