i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
