No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
