So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
