Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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