I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
COCAINE IS GR8
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
