Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
