If i come over, it means nothing
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
