I faked an abortion last night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
