I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I fill condoms, not promises.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
