? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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