Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
