I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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