Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she peed on how many people?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
