Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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