if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
