How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
