How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
