In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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