I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
