i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Rumble strips road head = magical
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
