carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
