he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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