Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
