puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
