He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can I color on your dick again?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
