I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
