She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
