READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
