I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
