he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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